Chase's surgery is exactly one week from today and in 6 days we head up to Saskatoon for pre-op stuff. I had been doing pretty good dealing with it all lately but today was not so good. Part of it was seeing the Z99 people set up in the Cornwall for the radiothon that raises money for the NICU. It struck me how you just never know what you might be thrown in life. We donated of course for it could just as easily have been my own child in need. I also felt a moment of near rage over the fact that there is STILL no children's hospital here in Sasaktchewan. We are extremely fortunate that the surgery can be done here at all. It drives me crazy that the province is even considering building an expensive sports dome when a hospital that has been in the planning stages for who knows how long is making no forward strides. What is more important- entertainment or saving the lives of children? Isn't it worth it to be able to provide medical care for children in our own province so that they and their families do not need to suffer further stress with having to go elsewhere for care? Argh, this really really gets to me! I love our football team but come one people, where are our prioroties??? Blah...
When it comes to this surgery, I can't help but be scared. Chase is not even a year old and it doesn't seem right for a little guy to be facing something like this. I worry about him going under and how hard that might be on his little body and heart. I worry about recovery and if he will suffer sleep apnea. I worry about having to watch him for infection and the added risk of Thrush since he is still nursing and will be on antibiotics. I worry about him being in pain and not being able to do anything other than dole out some Tylenol. I worry this might be only the first of many surgeries or that it might not change anything. I am a world class worrier. I know I am going to fall apart when I have to hand him over to some stranger when it is time and cry when I finally get to see him again. A friend said to me on the way home from Y's Moms one day that she thought I was so strong. Pshhh... strong like foil.... though I guess if you put enough pressure on tinfoil or bend and fold it enough times, it does become stronger and manages to do what you want it to, so maybe it will come later. I can hope...
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You are strong! You noticed that there is a problem and you got Chase in to the people that he needed to see to get some help, and you're getting him the surgery that he needs. You will be able to help him get through it too, which is what he really needs the most.
ReplyDeleteI feel very fortunate that we have an amazing children's hospital in edmonton, and that there is another one in calgary - if you ever get sent out our way for mr. chase, you can definitely stay with us!
I'll be thinking of you guys and hoping for the best possible things for you.