Reclaiming the Breasts!

Well it seems the boy is nearly fully weaned. Wow, I can't believe we made it this long. Seems not so long ago that I came home with the poor jaundiced thing wondering if we would make it a week or a month. He was a good eater but it made him so sleepy that he ate every hour or two for soooo long. I wanted so badly to nurse but somedays were so tiring and frustrating as it seems there was nothing to do in order to keep him awake. I remember the cluster feed every night from 8-10pm and thinking I would never get a break. At the same time, I loved the blissful look on face, his little baby burps and the fact that he was gaining well. I pushed hard and pumped myself silly and had more than a few tearful meltdowns of the "I don't know if I can do this" type in front of Jon. Every month I kept saying "just a little longer, we can make it another month".

He did eventually start going longer between feedings. I was encouraged when all the nurses kept saying how impressed they were with his growth and how healthy and happy he seemed to be. They also told me that depsite how it might seem to me, he was simply a very efficient nurser who did not need to take a lot of time to feed. I was lucky too, he took to bottles with none of the dreaded nipple confusion they warn moms about. I was able to pump and have others feed him from time to time and we were able to leave him and go out now and then. And then came solids and he took to those like he was born to do it. While he loved the solids, he still loved his mommy time too and I figured a little longer. I did hit a point however where I could not stand the thought of pumping and while I knew I had plenty of milk still, it was not pumping as easily. So while I kept nursing, I retired the pump to storage. 6 months, 8 and 10 mths passed...

The reclaiming of the breasts began easily.... because Chase weaned himself off his one night feeding! It was lovely and I did not have to feel guilty for being mean mommy. I was not in a hurry but he clearly did not need it. Since then, I have dropped one feeding at a time as he has shown less and less interest in daytime feeds as well. Mwhahaha my breasts were becoming my own again! We were finally down to one feeding, the dive bombing mommy first thing in the morning feed. lol I was not sure this was going to end because he would literally try to dive out of Jon's arms and into my chest when he saw me in the morning. But the last week or so he has gradually shown less interest even in that feeding and would goof around more than eat and I would end up give him something more for (pre)breakfast anyways. Well today he skipped that morning dive on mom altogether (aside for a hug and kiss) and is none the worse off for it. Part of me is sad, my baby has grown up and does not need me so much but a bigger part of me is so happy that he made the choice himself. It has been a heck of a journey this breastfeeding business. I had no idea how complicated it could be when I started out but we did great, this kid and I!